After the last three months with dad, I awoke the past few moments realizing that even though I fought to keep myself in a semblance of balance, the process beat me down across the board and how I usually work and live my life had to be put on the back burner as open brain thinking is very different than what I fear much of the world operates in with closed brain functions.
Today, I slept later than usual and had to make a short road trip where my focus isn't razor-sharp. All the ideas and work in the past few years were allowed to stew or gestate in my subconscious for the past three months. Key points or keyframes were coming out of my mind, and I was struggling to drive and scribble the notes down in a sketchbook as they flew out. What's a keyframe? It is the critical point where action or activity changes in the animation. All you have to do after they have been established is bring in the "tweeners." You construct the action from the key points.
So I have a lot of keyframes this morning, and I think I need to go off to Chicago and visit Mhub. It appears to be one of the few places in the united states that has all the tools and equipment someone like me can use in a small and agile skunkworks type team. I have to make a list of what is really needed from the newer perspective and truth is, it isn't that much, and the equipment and additive manufacturing is coming down in price.
another idea thrown out by my cousin at the funeral was "bring mom down, and the entire family can buy a farm."
It actually is a good idea, as I have to laugh at my grandmother's original wish for her amazing dill pickle recipe. I really tried to get the costs down to a place where you get luxury pickles for an affordable price, and never came close. But if we had seasonal ability to control all the areas of the supply line – it might be possible.
I still laugh at our conversations about the pickles. "oh mark, can you get two tractors, one for uncle john, another for uncle joe? I think they would each like their own."
"what are you going to do with all this grandma?"
"can you get me a porch with a rocking chair? I will supervise and eat ice cream cones!"
little does grandma know, that all that work years ago, is going to come to fruition soon, but with an unexpected twist, one I think she would smile at in that it helps people.
since the rest of the family, sans my nephew is old, I envision a large porch with lots of rocking chairs and people all sitting there living out the twilight of their lives.
Thank god I studied robotics and technology. I am also thankful to Kosta's (God rest his sweet soul) son in law never showed up for work and made it easy to automate people out of the process. It was never my goal, but with small and nimble organizations, it will be interesting how they can compete inside the giant world of mega-corporations.
I do believe we have a decent blueprint and real-world experience. So I was a bit sad today in that I was scribbling notes in a book and trying not to crash the car. It wasn't just one idea that was coming out, but three.
That is a rare morning, indeed. I just wish I was sitting at the brainstorming table with some coffee.
I also know enough that I needed to be distracted to loosen up the mentality of the last few months of caregiving. I will never change the gift of that time with my father for anything, as it was really a fantastic growing experience to be part of.
What I realize is that I am around a lot of people that don't want to grow, or whose idea of life is very different. in my time left on this planet, I think we can bring a lot of useful tools that can help people
I think I gave up with the idea of trying to change people, teach them the ways, and give them a roadmap. Instead, we will make the tools they can take and use. The ability or amount of growth and change is simply their choice.
perhaps I am thinking about life in Asia and the simplicity of my friend helping a young woman in India empower women where they don't really have much choice in being with comparison to what we have in the united states.
My frustration in the united states, is I think we simply have become fatter, more unhappy, and more afraid. I hate to type that. I also know there is a lot of good people still there that work behind the scenes while our leaders seem to be beating each other up to control power, greed, lust, money, and their ego-driven legacies.
Now I drive back, and probably will fill up the wall with stickie notes that have the missing keyframes to the bigger story. Exciting stuff. then again, I am a sort of nerd/dork/idea weenie