The title line was something a friend said to me when we caught up on the phone, and he was telling me about his daughter's response to his girlfriend. I could not help but laugh, aa modern-day dating astounds me. I get my information from my various friends and realize everyone on the planet is screwed up, yet, few are taking the time to actually work on fixing the things inside themselves that are broken. It appears many are out in the world looking for another to fix them, and/or apply a temporary band-aid over their stuff.
First – we all have stuff. Until you take the time to look inside, I wager most are unaware or in denial about their stuff. I doubt I would be writing this at 20, 30, or even 39…my unconventional life has me realize the famous quote I can never seem to find about what writers seem to write about as they age, and how it changes in importance over time.
What I either didn't know, and/or was hidden, or not so noticeable was how if you take anyone out of their known routine, you see the various flavors of psycho come to life. How do I know? When I look back and really went into the introspection with the old monk in the desert, I am wondering how God has been merciful for most of my stupidity and sins in my life.
Before anyone gets freaked out about world sin. It merely is anytime you are out of communication with God. Aka – pure love. It appears most of the time we are living inside ourselves and selfish wants and interests in the west. Social media give the tools to the market for them to live out their digital make-up.
But last night, I had my friend go from infatuation and love of being in a relationship to a place where the make-up came off, and you look at the other person and see all the stuff that they have and/or never addressed. I don't think anyone gets a prize for not having these issues. The only folks I have met that have come close to enlightenment and walking in the spirit are some monks of various religions and one catholic nun who runs marathons.
I asked my friend, "so how is the new relationship going?"
I heard a pause and silence. The telltale sign that like a new football season or sports season starting. Everyone is undefeated before they play a game and enthusiastic and excited. Then reality sets in and most of the folks find out the other team hits back, and it isn't so easy.
"my daughter said that pscyho comes in a lot of different flavors and that is all she can say about that.
In our quest to be loved. I think a lot of us forget to love God and ourselves first, and we look for another to fill the holes or cover the scars from the pains we have gone through.
How does it heal? I guess there is growth that not too many women I know seem to grasp in a relationship. The example I use is holding my hand tight and saying I used to love with a closed hand as if love was a possession, but over time and lots of learning and mistakes, I simply hold my hand out. If you want to be loved, just come and sit. if you don't, you have the freedom of choice to walk away."
I have taken that to all relationships, and perhaps that is what makes it so goofy when I am in the world and see all the greed, pride, ego, lust, and addiction. I just smile and don't get attached to any of it anymore. the events of the last weekend and my work in studying human emotion with technology to manipulate human emotion is coming full circle with behavioral economics and the west being run off emotion instead of logic or taking a moment to breathe and ask, "what am I so anxious about?"
today if someone doesn't want to make any time or spend time with me, for myself, I am like, "fine with me!" I realize how much junk is in the world of social networks and how the foundations of most relationships are getting smaller and smaller. Soon it will be like an elephant balancing on a toothpick. While it is a beautiful visual, it won't last for long.
The same can be said about relationships where people don't want to take the step to change. I have spent the last three years in an online relationship course to learn how much I sucked at communication in my past. I don't know if it is much better today, as I had no one to proactive with, but I do know I look back at my past and shake my head. I did a lot of things that had me shake my head and think, "ok Einstein, that was an idiot move."
I don't have any wise advice to those out seeking love in the modern world. I gave it up a while ago as I saw the digital tsunami starting to crash in 2007. I stopped then.
Today, I just listen to my friends tell me of their dating woes, and I have to laugh. I am not laughing at them, nor am I laughing with them. I am laughing at where society and people are heading and thinking pscyho is normal.
But I did laugh, "psycho comes in a lot of different flavors." now, back to the inner fitness ideas. I see a large market for such places, but I am realistic with our data in realizing a few people actively want to really change. Today, I am ok with that.