I sent my nephew off with breakfast today. He will be missed with the help he was with his grandfather's care. There were some priceless wisdom and moments I learned watching the two very different generations come together. One a young man with his life and career ahead of him, and his grandfather, a bit like an old oak tree at fall, his leaves falling off and needing some help. The full extent of the beauty is lost at times because life is a series of naps to try to make him comfortable on his way out. How long will that be? Only god knows.
So, for now, it is a bit like finding a spot to pitch your tent in the wild that isn't great, but it isn't bad either. We discussed changing dads schedule around to try to get him back into a semblance of following his circadian rhythms. He is reverting back to where he was before the hospital, and I am not sure if that is because he is still addressing his own fears, or moms' concerns are complicating his ability to just let go. I think that is the interesting piece in the process, when does one "let go?"
In the west, and particularly the united states, I don't think many people, even the poor, realize how many benefits and gifts they have over the masses on the planet. Much of the time, I feel entirely out of place in regular conversations as I am probably looking at everything from a different perspective than the one people live in or make habits of. It was enjoyable talking to my nephew, as while we do have some commonality in how we think with what one needs in life, we are very different from the ideology and beliefs. We can talk about them and have a conversation. Many times, you get blowback from others when you ask my favorite question, "why?"
That one word will demonstrate to you where a person is coming from. Did they take the time to live and work out the solution? Or did they read about it on a Facebook post from their friend?
I am excited to be pushing the various prototypes – as they aren't necessarily for the aesthetics, but rather the full function and how we hybrid the three systems side by side. If this all works, I will smile and then wonder why people don't take the time to create their own food inside their own home. I have to confess that the charcuterie is not the healthiest of ideas, but there just are some things in life that I learned traveling the world that is delicious to eat. The various cured hams and meat delicacies. I have to confess I miss the swiss slab bacon (speck) over what they sell as bacon in the states. I would love to have a slab over here to give my dad a lovely tasty treat with it.
So, I have dug a trench around my little tent space metaphor here. It is to allow drainage in case of rain. While I know this is a day to day process, I am merely digging in for the longer than expected haul. If dad should pass sooner, that is fine. I really simply don't desire to see him suffer. But for a guy that was on his way out a week ago, and a few days ago. He is still ok.
So, I got more bird food so he can enjoy the squirrelitos, chipmunkitos, and other wildlife and I will assemble my chainsaws to make some Swedish candles he can enjoy looking out from the back room into the yard at dusk. It is interesting, he doesn't watch any tv. Just his Yankee's baseball.
American football season started, and that will be good for him to sit and watch. I am amazed and/, or my mind is blown at how college and professional football has become some giant money machine anymore. Will they pay the college kids a nice stipend for the billions that are going into schools' coffers?
What is funny is my nephew, and I was discussing the shadow/weapons testing places all over the planet. What I see a lot of the American public doing is just entertaining themselves, spending stupid amounts of money to see a tiny dot on a stage (with massive projection screens to mask that the band is nowhere near the people anymore) and spend money to feel good.
I must be odd; I am going to take the brainstorm of today and put it all in a final plan. It took few years of meandering on several fronts to get where we are today, but I do believe I can do this project till the rest of my life on this planet – and it will help people – not get them to escape reality.
Yes, I scratch my head in the past 15 plus years and wonder how I went from living in the world to space and perspective I am today. It is a very different place