I am not sure which is better to take. Someone that dies suddenly, like a massive heart attack or an accident, or someone that passes over time and you are there to watch the journey with them – for example, cancer. The first leaves one feeling like there were some unsaid words, the second had one having to watch another suffer, of which, it is not the most beautiful thing to witness at times.
In the past week, I have lost a childhood friend, and I am watching my father going from here and suffering. Hopefully, both will end up in that cosmic place I like to think of when I think of god. Pure love. When I ponder the universe and feel of pure love, I guess like our human brains working, we might get a few percents of what genuine pure love is. We are just limited in our human forms
I have spent a lot of time living in the world and a bit of it realizing that how we live and what we value is pretty insane in the grand scheme of life. The power grabs, lust for money, clenched fists of possessions and things. Trust me, I do understand living that way. I also thank that old man in the desert and something inside my heart to get me back to a place where you realize and feel like an alien on this planet.
I have a book roughed out about life and the journey around the planet. Basically, I do get the prodigal son, the doubting Thomas, and the Damascus road experience parables better than I probably should. What was the quote I wrote about a few weeks ago, "religion is made for people afraid of going to hell. spirituality is for those that have been in hell."
There is a great deal of truth to that. I wager there are a lot of people living in a sort of hell with themselves because of the demands of society and the herd about looking a certain way, having particular possessions and behaving a certain way, injecting and manipulating oneself, taking legal and illicit pharmaceutically to have a great life. Really is more like regularly taking medicine to numb the pain inside. The medicines become habits, and voila…some folks think this is living.
Life today is vastly different than it was 25 years ago. Today I have to write up agrowspace and the full plan/map that has come out of about 13 years of work and research. All the pieces finally have a place to come together. I will probably scout a location in Spain in a month because it just seems logical. I would love to do this in the united states, but I really don't think the market is ready for it until the current pumped up economy crashes and people go, "oh, so that's why you don't manipulate post-2008 and interest rates while creating massive debt!"
Remember 2008? Mine was the events of 9-11. When we got to 2008, I was really amazed that in a capitalistic society, the government bailed out the banks and people that created the mess. while I applaud the soft-landing approach to the pain for many – I look at what is cooked up today and think, "only a matter of time."
In the grand scheme of life, all this really won't matter much. We all come into the world with nothing, and I don't really see too many people taking all their stuff with them when they leave.
What they do take and leave is how well they loved. Friends and enemies alike. How well did they love all?
Thankfully there is a force in the universe that understand how flawed and imperfect we are at living in love.