The past few months have had me fighting a significant internal battle on a few issues that I want to change about myself and how I communicate with others. The sad reality I have come to is that all I can change is myself and much of the planet simply will look at the world not so much through the filter of God's love, but their own fears and insecurities. You can call them the wounds that people carry with them that can alter how they act and react to others.
People are part of the reason I tend to go out into nature more, albeit, it is not the space where there is no man-made noise or influence that I prefer, like the desert or the vast open expanses of the west – but to be still and unplugged and recharge from the constant noise of man.
While man can make some beautiful music, a lot of what we are creating in our digital and ever-increasing urban worlds is a lot of noise that makes it very easy to distract us from what is essential in life. last week I was reading about "space advertising" where a company wants to put billboards in space, and I am thinking, "who knew I would ever contemplate the idea fabricating weapons to shoot advertising billboards out of the sky?"
Let's get back to nature. I went trout fishing again and came to a spot when all the humans left before the sunset, it was as if all of nature was hiding in the forest and said, "ok, they are gone, except for this one guy standing in the river that appears to "get" what nature is about!"
For 45 minutes, the entire area around me came alive. from fish, bugs, ducks, geese, eels, beavers, jumping fish, and incredible beauty of a beautiful sunset. While it was getting darker, I pondered just staying there in the river, not wanting to move and go back to the reality of humanity. I can't describe it except it reminded me of being backstage when the show was over, and a ton of activity was happening that the ticketholders would never see. This was the life of nature road crew.
The beaver himself had me perplexed. At first, I thought it was a muskrat swimming along the river. When the furry creature got out of it, I realized it was far too big to not be a beaver, and when he went into the trees and seemed to cut a sapling down in 15 seconds, drag it on the bank, and take it into the river with him. Yes, I marveled at the speed he cut a tree down.
This peaceful moment ended when I got on the highway and a bubba truck carrying a fishing boat was zipping along driving the fool. Based on the way he was wobbling and driving, If I were to give him a blood alcohol test, I doubt he would have passed it. instead, I stayed behind and prayed he didn't do something stupid and hurt anyone
When he got off the next exit, I prayed he got to wherever he needed safely and realized I wanted to go back to that spot on the river. A part of it is that I never spent a lot of time on rivers before. We always had lakes or oceans. With the trout area, the water is much cleaner than most rivers, and you can see all the abundant activity in the water around you. It is a fascinating lesson in another part of the extreme complexity of nature and its design.
I will go to meditation class tomorrow and see about silencing my heart enough to see what the issue with the peace between my head and heart is about. I was talking to a friend about, and they understood when I said, "20 years ago I didn't know there was so much beyond organized religion in the spiritual realm. perhaps it would be better not to know there is so much more?"
Why do many limit ourselves with our insecurities and fears? Why are so many afraid to grow and change?