To forgive and forget? forgive and remember? or just say you forgive and take and eye for an eye?
this was an interesting question I posed to a friend today at lunch. they say we are the sum of our experiences and in that area, while I have seen and done a lot, I realize how little I really know. in the past 14 years upon meeting that old man in the desert, I also am either growing in the spiritual realm, or insanity – as the way the world works according to trying to walk in love certainly is lacking among humans. the amount of times I fail with two simple commandments in love – is frustrating. sometimes I wonder why I keep getting up and dusting myself off, yet, I know the reason why.
with my friend, I felt god forgives and forgets. and then the theologian from conservative denominations had them give an answer of “forgive but never forget!” my childlike mind asked, “if god, who I believe is pure love, knows all things, and certainly probably doesn’t really need us humans in the grand scale of the cosmos simply is love. I can understand the beauty of choice we have to push into that love, or we can simply choose selfish love and go after whatever we desire and dream. it is an interesting paradox that in the united states appears to be blurred and lost more and more in our instant gratification, no pain, you deserve to always be happy media blitzkrieg.
I fear what we are taught in church is a nice version of an ethic or set of rules to strive and live for. and yes, it is pretty wise to be terrified of god and what he can do if he releases grace from you, me, the planet. yet, over the worst times in my life, I have to confess it was when I learned the most about how amazing and good god really is, how he really does forgive, and in a sense forget. I could be wrong and there is some giants ledger sheet of every thought and deed I ever had – of which – there probably is, and in that respect I am just screwed with any idea of getting into this dimension or place called heaven.
then there is the idea that god is pure love and perhaps he is lonely with the humans all preaching, talking about love, and really not walking a pathway to learn it like it is meant. another friend says that I should watch an episode of a tv show where ted Danson plays an accountant in heaven and there was an episode where a stoner looking dude has his picture on the wall in heaven. I guess the character says, “the Christians, Buddhists, Hindus and all the others have it about 5 % right, then one day we were amazed when this one guy was stoned out of his mind and got it 95% right!
I guess it is the battle of the head and heart. the attempt to walk in that space where the two seemingly immiscible entities blend and the heart superseded the mind. I know it exists, as I have met about 3-5 people that I would say are walking in that enlightened state.
if we know an eye for an eye doesn’t really work all that well in the long term…why do we continue?
if we know forgive and forgetting to forget doesn’t work…why do we continue?
if we know to forgive and forget – as if the offense never happened why do we still hold onto our “stuff” with clenched fists?
oh year. Pride, jealousy, greed, lust…oh well. I am hopeful and thankful that whenever this time here is done, that perhaps I get to meet this entity that is pure love. I don’t think It is possible in my human form without melting and/or realizing how not so loving I currently am.
that is the post morning brainstorm. I wonder if god ever peers down and cries, or does he simply know that humans are trying and he realized the importance and beauty in the freedom of choice to love, forgive, forget…or harden ones heart and soul with bitterness, anger, and hatred.
tis a choice. what do you choose?
this post, just a rambling while I drink a cup of coffee….not a clue what I typed.