I like to help people. I am not sure of the deeper psychological reason for it. As I age, it is more fun to give than to receive. Perhaps when I was younger, I was happier to receive and more selfish and prideful?
The events of life if you go out and try to achieve your dreams instead of just settle, will have you probably have a higher wavelength and amplitude of events in your life. I always take for granted that everyone tried to go to their limits. What I realize more in life is not too many people are aware of the restrictions they place upon themselves with what is possible. Why do so few try? One might fail!
If you do try, you probably will fail a lot. It is a strange phenomenon in a world that wants to paint some made up image or success and perfection. The prodigal son portion of my life taught me that the stuff of life really is a lot of fun, yet, you don’t see how it can easily ensnare and encapsulate your heart and soul. A friend was talking about Hollywood and a really talented friend of his that has worked with the crème of the crop In music, and their battle with addictions. When you hear that someone had to tie themselves down for three weeks in a hospital bed to break that addiction, you don’t wish that upon even your worse enemy.
that is another odd part of growing, you learn to love even your enemy...but that is for another day.
Life gets odder when you change and in my case, had a Damascus road experience of sorts. Or was it, “hey mark, this is what the hell is like, do you really want to continue down that path?” it feels odd talking about my actual success in the world, that really was more a giant failure in gods eyes, but I type this out. I am fighting jet lag, and I already did my prayer and meditation and the brainstorm today is typing about how you will fail in trying to help people. If you want to know about what the hell is like and what pure love is like, call me. I doubt I can express in words just how horrific or amazing that which Is in the spiritual world is like.
What I do know is that after such experiences, you do and will change. It comes with what is really the most beautiful thing in life. We get the free will to choose, “do I want to just plod along in the world? or do I look like a fool and keep pushing for this world that is based on faith?”
With it, the normal world will strangely look at you. I am not knocking anyone else’s path in life, but what I seem to see is more people watching life than actively doing or trying. The main reason is that technology has made it so easy for us to somehow believe we are in and can control our lives. Consumerism has shown us how one can buy and apply liberal doses of “make-up” to cover up anything that is our natural human self. I remember having a list of things and being so busy trying to acquire “stuff” and today I look back and think, “there sure was a lot of foolishness in that path…you covered yourself up.”
I guess that is the spiritual path in growing? You have to let go of your stuff and allow another force to help you improve in love and helping others. The downside is there is a force that really doesn’t want people to love each other, get along, help each other…yet, we are merely human beings and instead of looking at ourselves. We have made a sport of rationalizing ourselves as somehow better than we probably are. If you look at it from the cosmos perspective, we are rather tiny.
Yet, if you look at it from the potential to help and love another….just a tiny spark can illuminate the entire planet. I think I just typed myself into why keep trying? There is no guarantee helping another will ever pan out. What it does, is through the highs, lows, trials, and tribulations of trying – you get the choice to try to grow in learning to love beyond yourself. In doing that – you gain far more by giving than you would be receiving.
As for the higher meanings of life….it is all a mystery to me. There is man’s love, which we usually attach some conditions to, and most of us are flawed in allowing our “stuff’ to get in the way of growing beyond our known limits, and we settle. Then there is gods unconditional love. what an amazing entity. The hardest part for me is learning just how tiny and minuscule I am in the cosmos. The greatest gift I learned is how much something loves that little, minuscule me while I am here on the planet. What is even neater is how much I learn to love if I make a choice to learn to love back.
It is 5:30 am…there is grace and peace in my heart that no matter what happens, a life I going to be just fine and trying to help others when you can and have the ability – is fine. The more you try to be a blessing to another – they either will accept it, or not. I feel that is the real beauty of choice in our lives.
What amazes me is how a simpler and more minimalistic life – indeed allows one to focus more on being able to help. It also shows how as humans we really love to try to let our fears to control and limit what is actually possible.
The other odd think about this blog is that it will renew again for another year soon. I have never gone back and actually read any of this. It is merely one guy putting words and thoughts out (notice how in the last few months I am trying to work on grammar?) but while I have sketchbooks of ideas and designs. Taking a few moments to attempt to write about whatever…has been good for me. It is probably painful for anyone reading this, but it has been a good habit to help me grow a little, even if helping others can sometimes backfire because you see behind the make-up of another and still love them. It is hard to really learn to love your imperfect self, yet, that is probably the greatest gift from God…he is simply enjoy, as that is all he knows how to do. We humans like to blame him for a lot of junk that he didn’t do…that humans did.
have a great day.