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Brainstorm Cafe

the space where coffee, sketchbooks and ideas collide

perfectionism is a terrible disease

January 23, 2019 mark somple
brilliant piece of art.  many probably think, “but it is just bottles of cheap thunderbird and nightrain wine!” (c) mark somple 2019

brilliant piece of art. many probably think, “but it is just bottles of cheap thunderbird and nightrain wine!” (c) mark somple 2019

The past week has me in a unique space where I am staring and watching others, yet, not getting attached to their pain, misery, and self-inflicted wounding’s. What is transpiring now, is nothing new inside each person, but rather life giving them another chance to let go of stuff that doesn’t really matter and/or is what the world says, “you need this” and instead, people can take off their make-up and like everyone else’s “stuff” – perhaps they can see their stuff and get rid of it. What makes it odd is that the folks are people that are teaching people what is a path to walk on. When you take off the pride of perfectionism and stop playing games – amazing freedom can happen.  

The reality is much of the world will do anything to put another layer of make-up or hide the faults behind walls they construct so that no one can see. It is a bit like the “privacy” walls you see everywhere in developed neighborhoods. The walls are to keep everything out, let no one see in, yet, there usually is security and surveillance cameras so the people can see everything.

Maybe that is what confounds me about all the data from people and the internet and the strange reality is that people have given all the data away to some giant data keeper with little to no clue how that same data will be used against them in their lives. Coming soon will be the robots invasion and artificial intelligence.  my prayer is machine learning somehow comes up with a knowledge that will teach humans how to get along better with each other than to keep putting walls up, of which the most dangerous ones are the ones we build over ourselves to hide our “stuff.”

What is stuff? It is the mental and emotional stuff that works to cover up our hearts and souls. Pride, greed, lust, envy, insecurity – there is a long list of the things of man, and for some reason, people want to paint some image of “perfect” as a rule, not a guideline to shoot for.    When you walk and talk to people, and with the age of social media – a lot of effort goes into people trying to create something that really probably is not that person at the heart and soul level.

To know oneself, or to at least recognize yourself while you work it all out, is a really great thing. It doesn’t bode all that well in our short term, instant gratification society – as it requires daily work to change and usually long periods to make an idea into a new habit. It is work, often it is not fun, and there isn’t a stadium full of fans cheering one along. The work is usually done alone with few to none actually watching or observing.

So why and where is this cultural pursuit of perfectionism? Any influential person I know, super wealthy, or a person in the public eye – if you look around them – there is a team of “image” folks that do the good, bad, and ugly of life so that the brand or image of the person never takes a ding or hit. It is a bit like the financial crisis where “too big to fail” suddenly went against every rule one was taught in business school and capitalism

With people, a never-ending gerbil mill can easily await anyone who wants to get more material “stuff” and possessions. Yet, at what cost to one’s heart and soul? That question is merely a choice each person gets to make. 

Lately, I am getting fed up with people wasting my time. They don’t see it, or perhaps are ignorant, don’t know about time, or are in the habit of thinking only their time matters? 

I gave up the to do lists long ago, as you can see the results in churches and if you ever had to attend many meetings for work – there is the idea that checking off to-do lists is somehow more important than asking “what is the priority we have vs. an obligation?”  

“what is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important.” Eisenhower

I can go on a long list of why I liked living in the lab. It was a space where you got a lot done because you just got rid of a lot of what the world considers valuable as if a to-do checklist. For example “if I just go to church and do this and that…I will be better!”    while it is possible this could work just like that – I found the level beyond simple religion is much more like “what is important.” 

lots of people confuse the urgency of checking off a box as some important need/rule/tradition as important. 

Life is funny, while one learns every day, some lessons are more straightforward, and usually the best – come with significant pain or hardships to overcome.   I am not sure if it has been that I just wasn’t that bright in following a herd? Or I wanted a life where I lived it, not sitting around watching it and being a critic of everything that possibly could have been done better.

Odd writing today no? Even by my standards.

While aiming for a goal or ideal is lovely. Thinking you can and will be perfect 24/7 probably is one thing you might want to take off your checklist. Life will get richer and smoother if you do.

I think the lesson today is that in a world where everyone has a way to speak and talk about anything. How many really have gone beyond the herd of what they were told life consisted of and really lived their life? How many really go inside and look and find themselves. It doesn't matter what condition you are in when you first notice the reality of wherever you are. It is then you can make a choice to start living without the dellusion or some image of trying to be perfect. You realize you are merely a small speck in the universe and in my case, you realize how short our time is on this planet, and how immense, and amazing something far more significant is out there that can guide and help you to grow and live from your heart.

← I know better than to open emails before my normal morning routine...Controlled and programmed people? →
brainstorm cafe moment - (c) mark somple 2014

brainstorm cafe moment - (c) mark somple 2014

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