in the perfect utopian world, I guess there would be no pain, suffering, struggle, hatred, racism, greed, and evil. yet, for most of us on the planet, we get the beauty of choice In how we want to live our lives and believe/not believe that there is more to the cosmos than what we have in our very short time on this planet. with it, and I guess speaking beyond religious rules/regulations/traditions – there is a spiritual dynamic to life itself. what is difficult and a struggle each day is to wake up and get tuned into a place where you are centered and focused. one day, perhaps before I die I might have one day where I walk about in a state of dispassion and am living in the moment yet attached to nothing.
that is a lofty goal indeed.
today was simply a struggle from awakening and starting the process at 5;56 am and going through to church. there was a seeming block on my heart and what should be a joyous flow through me, was simply a struggle where it would be like having a bad exercise session and wondering, “what happened? why does this feel so weak and lethargic?” the same can happen in spirituality/meditation/religion as you work to go into your heart and enjoy that place of peace.
the old monks say that when you are working with grace in you, prayer and silence is easy. when you don’t have that working with you – it is effort and a struggle, yet, you are really praying then.
it doesn’t seem to make sense on the days when you struggle – but it is like exercising on bad days – you have a choice to quit or get through the session to the best of your ability.
the reality is for every time you quit – you rarely gain much from it. if you struggle and get through, you gain a great deal for a time in the future.
I think there was something we were all graded on in football. it was a score of where we in better physical condition than our opponent in the 4th quarter. it might sound strange to a short-term world, but that is where a lot of games that were close were won or lost. who had more in their gas tanks at the very end.
I am going to add colors to the folk's cabinets and such – I have to confess their elderly bathroom is turning out really nice. it Is rare I am happy with what I build. as the builder, I know all the time, workarounds, flaws, imperfection….if you step back, it looks really nice. I guess it is how we see a lot in life…we worry about the specks of dirt and forget how beautiful the overall image/place is?