ever have someone tell you what you are thinking and/or are feeling?
have you ever come across someone that simply was telling you what you were thinking or feeling and you were thinking nothing remotely like they were saying?
it sounds a bit like the news in the media in the united states these days.
do you take a moment where you decide to smile and brush it off or do you confront the person by asking, “how do you know what I am feeling or thinking? are you psychic or something?” do you politely ask someone what is it that made say the things they did – of which much of the time it is incorrect. is that projecting? or is that someone so caught up in their own perspective that there is no room for another, even if it is diametrically opposed to facts and truth?
I owe a shift in this type of listening and thinking to some coursework I have been doing the past 15 months online and while it is harder to work remotely on the material when it would be easier if you had a study partner, you do pick up the messages and learn new material over time.
what became apparent is how people communicate, and/or don’t communicate. usually, this is not a problem with anyone in publix’s, although with the amount of increasing violence and rage you see in public – it is usually within close relationships, or work relationships where the team is comprised of whoever is there and you have to all get along that bigger issues occur. these probably could be solved if people learned to communicate better and took some time to look inside and ask, “yeah, I probably could improve a, b, c…do a bit of work on d that is inside me.
so why don’t we?
the main issue is people live in the illusion of the choices they make say they are so busy and wrapped up in obligations that they might not even know what their priority is anymore. it is very easy to have happened with the way various things and life can suck you in without you really realizing it. what I am observing on a global scale is people are getting more skittish and short-tempered and the exportation of materialism and stuff isn’t going to bode well for much of the planet as income disparity increases.
someone complained about, “not enough time” the other day so I wrote back, “a way to seemingly make more time in a day is to sleep enough, eat healthy, do some exercise and move every day, and take your pick on meditation or prayer….you don’t need much…but make that a habit and in 3 months you will find yourself with more energy, better mood, and probably not as much irritability with the reality of human behavior or condition in the world.”
“but I am too busy!” is the response. I wager that for every 100 times I give that advice, perhaps three people might actually take it
so what about the people that tell you what you are thinking and/or feeling? you try to love them, but truthfully either they are blind to themselves, unaware, or they are psychologically diabolical and know exactly what they are trying to do? when you ask, “why is it you think, feel, believe the things you are saying when the facts and events are very different than your perspective?”
people don’t like to be called on their stuff as it makes people uncomfortable and uneasy. I used to love playing chess, and with people, I swear a lot of it is like playing a game of chess with how they try to move the pieces in their lives. I have to admit, I used to love playing the game of life – then one day – I met a human that possessed the reality that you read about in all the books.
at that point, life became very stripped down, simple, basic, healthy, and loving. while I enjoyed chess, I did what my super genius friend would do to test how good computer chess games were – he would play in a way the computer never expected.
with the folks that have the problem of telling me what I think and feel…I simply don’t play anymore. the reality is in their minds, they probably think and feel they are somehow right/justified/correct – yet my advice of “you can explain how and why you feel something – but please, if you want to know an answer, “ask me a question.”
I am happy to answer the question – the problem in today’s society is if your answer does not fit inside someone preconceived views – it is attacked or ignored. I guess it is why I don’t go to coffee shops much anymore….what gave them a unique life was the people and the sideshow was great coffee. today…you go for coffee as the people are all in their own little bubbles.
I guess even asking someone a question is taboo today. the Europeans get fed up with the Americans coming over and asking, “how are you today?” and no one waits or listens to the answer. it is a flaw or a cultural thing we do – that the sad truth is why even ask the question if you are not going to hear the answer?
it is like the advice I gave earlier for how to make more time in your day, or the advice of “ask a question” in today’s text message crazy society I would not be surprised if phones of the future are linked with an auto-injector of some medicine that companies will profit immensely from and dumb down society and its ability to get along
not the happiest notes, but guess what, there is hope – the one person you can change is yourself – even if the vast majority is too busy to take care of itself – you can take care of yourself and in time…a few people might heed the advice and you can help them along the journey for change.
what I am learning about with aging and the elderly is a few questions I have to discuss with my robot building friends for the elderly. the first one will be, “would a perpetual school or learning be of benefit to the process of aging and having people not get locked into a little world where change is views and uncomfortable or unwanted and a day of predictability seems to be the norm?
just more questions and the world of controlled environments for plants and people move one step closer to helping more than just a few.