for I guess it has been the last 15 months, I have been taking an online course that is about people, relationships, and improving communication skills. I remember starting and taking the first course and thinking, “what is this stuff?” and I also knew that to really get a feel for something, you try it several times. perhaps there is an inverse law with what we want and the reality of getting it. in sales training, I remember that 80% of your sales come after the fourth visit/meeting, so how it is much of the world thinks life will happen on the first time? when you think of it, when did you really master anything on the 1st attempt? was it skill a wee bit of natural talent and smidgen of luck?
to get good at anything, you have to put in the constant repetitions. it is like someone asking, “why do you waste time going to church?” I reply, “there are many days I simply don’t feel like it, just like the days I don’t want to exercise for my body, or brainstorm and do all the detail work of an idea and bringing it into reality. but do you only eat once a week? work out once a month, or work every time you get inspired and feel like it? do you think you will improve and get better doing life that way? or do you think it is better to feed whatever your wants/needs are each day – mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional – even when you really don’t feel like doing it. (yet, those days are the ones you grow the most)
so there is the word, “but” and “manana” that is driving me crazy these days and have me wondering, “am I trying to learn patience? or am I wasting my time waiting for folks to get on the same page?” truth is, I don’t know the answer, or if it is a bit of both?
what I do hear with most comments or ideas out of my mind is, “no.” without anyone really taking any time to think about or process the information. we become conditioned to not changing and the older I get, the sadder I feel about people just thinking life is a one-way street and one can’t grow, learn, and change every day of their life. the “but” comment is something I have to admit, I was saying a lot in conversations….now that I am aware of it, and trying to get rid of it, as when people use it – they discount everything said in the previous conversation – you realize that it also is a way to rationalize or generalize you yourself not having to think and/or grow. it was like driving by a hot air balloon festival with my dad this morning…
“odd, they don’t have one balloon inflated and flying up in the air like a giant billboard advertisement.”
“yeah, that makes no sense, BUT the trees have grown in this area."
“what does that have to do with anything, simply get a longer tether for the balloon?”
I guess that is how my mind thinks. perhaps it is the merchandising elements of the last few weeks of work….or….it is me finally cognizant of growing in the past 15 months of a course designed to help me communicate and listen better? truth is, I love intense and focused conversations…what the world provides is a lot of small noise blurbs where people really can’t dig into topics deeply. is it because they don’t want to? Would it take too much time and effort? or they really don’t care?”
yes..I am getting cognizant of what I am being taught, but it is like me learning to play tennis with a brick wall. I can swing, hit the ball, return the rebound…and that is good to get a basic idea of the fundamentals, you need someone to play with – ideally who’s is better than you are. that way, while you might get your derriere kicked initially, you will learn a lot faster. when you are practicing alone, you don’t get the experience and the testing of how the techniques work and bring about change inside the dynamics of a new way to listen, hear and communicate. I have to confess I know a few people who communicate like the way the course is teaching.
my life was so used to hanging out with freaks that were amazingly gifted and talented with skills of the mind -yet -emotionally and psychologically, I guess because they were so talented, a lot of things were allowed to slide. when an idea was put out in the air, there wasn’t anyone saying, “no” or “BUT” rather people all trying to help each other and bring to light areas that might not work – not because they read about it in a book, rather, they actually spent time trying it and learned via experience.
they might say, “the way you are working on that might not be the best way ….and I learned it by testing a similar idea with another similar project, AND perhaps a better way to go would be to (insert solution)
that read and carries a lot more weight than “no” or “but”
the irony…I walked by about 8-9 wooden crosses the church used for memorial day…white crosses with gold/black stick-on lettering for the names of the deceased that were at the church. they were asking for help fixing them. I offered, they said, “no thanks” and then today, they are asking, “can you do them?” I think it was the way the names were simply pasted on each cross for a nameplate that bugged me. there was a church I went to in Santa Fe, that the priest Is really a sweet and amazing soul and human being – yet – what he visualized and what he really wanted/needed were two very different things. yet, I made some odd frames and laser cut out some holders for icons and put it all in place…it was what I could do with the time and money I had. it turns out, the work was for a space that I really never saw much in the states, but is very common in Europe where the body would be held until a funeral. then all the work made sense for that little space.
the same will be fine for the new crosses…part of me wants to simply accessorize the old ones. they have stood the test of time, and you might need to repair them, AND if you simply take a little time, and make some parts to embellish both – you can have the old with the new, and it will look pretty nice for what is needed.
its funny, with the land in Colorado, there was a lot of ponderosa pine and other soft woods. I felt I was supposed to simply make wooden crosses and mail them to wherever wanted one. maybe instead I am to start with these?
weird day. I guess I have a hard time going backward when one has spent the time to move forward in life. there is that adage one step forward, two steps backward that really is representative of how one grows and learns -it is a daily event. in today’s modern deluge of noise and data – I am amazed more people are not taking the free online courses about any topic you can imagine with major universities and remote learning. I will be signing up for some software training classes this week as I have to really master a few things because I am being slowed down with others who might not feel the same passion for ideas and the work that I do.
if anything – try to hear how many times you say no to someone without really listening. try to hear how many times you add a “But” after hearing something someone else has said - and change yourself and improve.
even if you are there hitting a tennis ball against a brick wall by yourself…there will be noticeable change – albeit it will probably take longer than if you had a partner to work with.
that's the morning…now…design fun with graphics. I sent out a slew of ideas for a concept and asked people, “of all this…which one caught your eye?” you know you are on the right path when everyone picked the same one.
it is like the wrestler with a dream I met in the gym. a giant man with a childlike heart, with street smarts. the odds are against him, yet, I am like, “try. if I can help you reach your dream and potential, that is good enough.”
if you never go after your dreams and believe the “buts” and “no’s” that are so ample in others lives who have not really walked out the idea experientially to give out the advise…perhaps it is best to ignore it while learning to keep a smile on your face?