Soon I will go off to another installment of German class. Try as I might, I fear that I will once again seem to be lost in space, struggling to put the elements of what is being taught in a rote patter together. While I have come to accept that this process will take a long time, and that I really struggle – I understand more – yet, I still live in a place where what I am learning is secondary to the actual main dialect.
It just gets a bit more confusing than the norm of just learning German.
I am kicking myself for not paying better attention to a window display I saw in a little town where I get off the train to get to the football arena. It was a last minute “can you help” type arrangement, so I just found I had about 45 minutes of extra time on the way to the game, so I took out the camera and just started shooting whatever was of interest. I thought I saw something unique in the picture, and there was. I just didn’t capture what could have been.
In photography, I was taught they are called near misses.
In simple English, it means that there was potential there, but you missed the opportunity to capture it in a form that was good enough to transmit. I am using this image, even though the other one is better because I think I am going to chat about people today.
Each day I get up, meditate and pray, to have a day where I actually walk in perfect love for my fellow man. This is a wonderful and noble goal to have, but actually walking it out with so many different and diverse people on the planet can be lived in my old way of life, which worked really well according to what is important to the material world. Or you can look at yourself and struggle, much like learning German to change your internal person to try to grow into that which spiritually is inside each of us. The ability to love selflessly.
Now that I type. Maybe I just have a learning disability with matter concerning languages and people. That would be the simplest way to rationalize the struggle to change.
“Oh mark is has LLS (language learning syndrome) and SLS (selfish love syndrome) give him some pills so that he doesn’t have to think or change, but we can say, “We are treating the illness.”
I guess that is the root issue of today’s world. Even with the creation of many new technologies. We can come up with tools, pills, medicines & robots to help us achieve a more convenient and better quality of life, but is it making us better human beings?
Perhaps that is the main question of all the research and work that stemmed from not working in defense and figuring out how to make people laugh, smile or escape for a bit.
I felt bad yesterday, as I had to be a bit of a dick. I still have heartburn with the way things work, you have three television groups given access, countless other media are given a back seat. Inside each group you have as many different personality types as you do players on the football team. Then you have the official rules that are written somewhere, and then the, “rules of the moment” that resemble each various person in charge wanting something changed or modified to their benefit all clashing. (I think I finally get politics?)
Yeah, this is what I am good at. Give me a pile of unrelated crap and I will thrive in getting everything to work. Tell me to do one thing; I probably will fall over with boredom.
Within each group, there is a certain percentage that feels they are special or entitled. With the media, you have the television groups being the top dog in the food chain. “Here are moving images and a perky talking head to tell you to stop what you are doing to watch something!”
Call me old, but I would rather have all the data there to scan, and then read deeply into something. Yes, that route takes more time to compose and costs more to present. But why not present news this way?
The moment I felt bad about was at the end of the game, the second string media (I guess I have a nickname for them) all has to wait a few moments before they are allowed in. I really can’t stand the idea, but I didn’t make the rules. Of course, the media are just as guilty as everyone else in the world of new gathering to just break rules to get a story; to modify an image to make a prettier picture, befriend a policeman or politician to get information on a friend or foe.
At some point, much like a celebrity you don’t now asking, “Do you know who I am?” someone will try bursting past you and say, “I am media”
That is the moment where you have to bite your tongue from laughing because you might have no idea who this person with the gigantic sense of self importance, yet, you have to be polite, lest you burst the balloon with is the fragile balance with the state of self-esteem ether they breath. “You DON’T KNOW who I AM?”
"No, I don’t have a clue who you are, sorry."
That’s when you politely put your hand in their chest, guide them back to the door and say, “that is great, but I am sorry, you have to wait 5 minutes.”
I am sure how I tried to describe it is not how he would say it went down, but I just get tired of the games.
It just makes me realize how wile we are all on the same planet, in the same world, yet, we all have a way of thinking, doing, and different desires and dreams that are either different or don’t align at the same time.
I keep waking up and believing we can do better, change one day and ourselves it will all make sense and get better.
That’s my dream. I wake up and try all day long. I seem to be failing miserably in that goal, but you keep trying.
Post German class update - part of it i understood, part of it i went, “huh” and the bike ride home in top gear was muddy fun. I hope it doesn’t wash what i learned away. always use permanent ink!