Yesterday I was at my brother in laws birthday party, and his soon to be in-laws are all excited about the birth of Emily. It was a difficult pregnancy, and it really is amazing to see her doing so well. Her grandmother and the rest of her family, godmother, aunts and uncles, were much like the little children waiting for Santa at Christmas. “Did Santa come? Do we get to open the gifts?”
Each adult would look at little Emily with an adoration and love in their eyes. Each wondering, “When will I get to hold little Emily?”
I happened to be next to grandma when that moment came. She was so excited to hold and feed her little granddaughter. I think this was the family’s first grandchild, so it has been a big event for the family after the long and trying pregnancy.
When I see good light, I guess there is some element of how I see the world that can recognize when a decent image can be bad. So I took my camera phone, braced my hand and arm and said a little prayer, “god, please let this focus and somehow take a decent image.”
Yes, despite many professional photographers wanting to talk about light, exposure and setting up shots. The most beautiful ones in life are where you simply just get lucky, are in the right space in time, and have enough brains to pick up a camera and remember to click the shutter without moving.
I tried to come up with some witty captions that explained what the little child might be thinking about in the safety of grandma’s arms. In English, it is a cute funny story – but alas, I have to translate the humor into German – so I am pretty much screwed with the idea of telling a joke in a non-native tongue. So I will go to phase two about the beauty of life and death, and yes, while the moment of grandma feeding her granddaughter via a bottle will have to come to an end, it doesn’t mean grandma’s deep love for her granddaughter will ever end.
I don’t like many images I actually take. But this series is truly nice to my eyes. so i hit save and opened up my backlog of emails from the weekend.
Then in my email, was a one URL sentence from a friend in the states about her brother.
Yes, he has passed on.
I really suck at writing and finding the right words to express how my heart feels. With the unexpected passing, I just wrote I am sorry, and mentioned the irony of just hitting save for the photos of that little newborn and the cycle of life.
So I attached the images. Little kids have the funniest way of helping adults through pain and suffering.
I guess it is because they have a childlike heart?
Perhaps that is why I get so frustrated with “normal” life and the “adult” way of life. As a creative mind that somehow survived when 97-98 percent of the planet lost their creative spark – I can only attribute it that I still have a childlike heart that is buried deep inside the world where people seem to only see and complain about the imperfections and dirt that clutters their minds with worry.
Life is short; we are all going to die.
Perhaps when you go so low to a space where you wonder why you are still alive, you gain the knowledge that there is something far bigger out there than us, That entity helps you get back up and with that, you realized most of the stuff of man and the world is really pretty irrelevant in the grand scheme of the cosmos.
At that moment, while you don’t loose the fear of dying. You do loose being afraid to die, you don’t worry about it.
You start dying…to actually learn how to live.
Sorry that I won’t put the image of the little kid up. I am pretty sure in my heart; they are just to be a simple xmas gift to a grandma and her family. We get the really lame a** image of chestnuts roasting as filler, as few can consistently take amazing images. Very few.